Sunday, November 26, 2006
Difference in the age of: advantage or an obstacle?
The present love, as is known, does not choose. She suddenly grows before us in all completeness and declares: here I, whether am ready to devote you to me the life?
And, apparently, all develops how you expect - and he loves you, both you of him, and are very good to you together.
However surrounding people, wishing to you in eyes of a long and happy life, behind a back for some reason whisper, glancing at your pair.
The reason for this is simple: at you too big difference in the age of.
All six-milliard mankind cannot be adjusted under one comb. Among numerous pairs in which the husband and the wife almost, meet the unions a difference in 15, 20, 30 and even 40 years. Unusual families, certainly, draw attention of the public - all interestingly, " as at them there ".
If your elect it is appreciable is more senior or that is younger than you, for certain, you collided not time with similar curiosity. And, probably, asked to itself a question: " and whether correctly I have acted having connected the life with this person? ".
Certainly, if you are absolutely sure in the feelings and in the partner and you the another's opinion on this question does not worry is is healthy. In fact nobody has rights to supervise our private life, to specify, that is correct, and that - is not present. But if all in attitudes like well, and you doubts then not bad to understand: whether it is necessary to make the final decision? We shall consider some the widespread cases:
1. She is a young girl till 25 years, to him - from 40 and more
It most frequently a meeting variant. Solid, taken place the man easily wins heart of young lady. She feels like near to him comfortably - in fact the partner has got not only material stability and a social status, but also rich life experience. Frequently it is the mature and wise person who actually is ready to give you all best.
Between you - full spiritual and sexual harmony (in fact you have not come yet in пору "peak" of the needs, and he has already was above age when satisfaction in intimate sphere is defined by quantity of sexual certificates). It is fine, if all really occurs so. But and if something you all the same guards - probably, a situation in itself the following dangers:
First, the girl to whom the partner gives a "ready" financial position and the social status risks to set aside on the second plan own personal and professional development. Such happens, if she searches for protection and a support (frequently it happens with girls who have grown without the father - they try to compensate lack of fatherly attention, meeting men is much more senior) in the partner. If you accept such situation is your choice. But it is not necessary " to be dissolved in the partner " and to overlook about itself.
It is wonderful, if ithe supports all your undertakings - means, he actually sincerely loves you and cares of your development. If he gives you money for clothes, service of the cosmetician, the masseur, etc., but it is not pleasant to him, that you will spend(will see off) time for work or in institute, moreover in addition go on rates or meet the friends - think three times, whether it is necessary to continue attitudes. In fact many wives of rich people suffer that they live, similarly to birdies in a gold cell thoughtlessly having sold once freedom and independence.
Second, be cautious, if he gives too big attention to sex and "has already got" you, and except for this theme of you a little that connects. Most likely, this the man has deep sexual problems and uses you for self-affirmation. Such attitudes have no anything the general with love - and once come to an end, not leaving any positive memoirs.
If at him was (or is) the wife of his age, that, probably, he is afraid of changes occuring to her - for example, she starts to become is similar to his mother whom he so was afraid in the childhood. In that case he simply searches in you for a refuge from the internal complexes. This crisis is usually shown at men about 42th years and, as a rule, lasts year two then the person is switched to a social life, work, self-improvement - or starts to grow old and turn to the gloomy loser on the sly. So hardly these attitudes become stable and harmonious.
2. She is a mature woman, he - still practically the young man
It too can be met quite often. Such attitudes have the importance for both: the tireless partner is necessary for the woman who has come during mature sexuality. In turn, she can learn the young man to art of love and vital wisdom, and also support him financially, to help to borrow the corresponding status in a society.
It is wonderful, if such pair lives in trust the consent, not paying attention to leisure conversations and slanting sights. However sometimes in the similar unions there are reefs:
The woman having the young partner, can feel constant fear of that he sooner or later he will leave her. Unfortunately, experience shows, that it occurs enough frequently, in fact the man, becoming psychologically mature, can want to create family, to have children - and each woman of 35-45 years is far from being will dare to give birth the child. Therefore he chooses younger wife.
If with you there was a similar situation, that main thing - to manage really to releasethe partner from itself, to go through this pain and to leave her. In any case, it is important for you to remember: you are not become worse than that your younger the man has thrown you. You are still fine, ready to give people love and happiness, firmly stand on legs and are developed as the person.
It happens and so, that the young man frankly mounts upon a neck to the skilled and solvent woman, using, for example, her dependence on sex. If you have got in such situation, first of all realize, that actually occurs. In fact, accepting strategy of " careful and providing mum ", you and itself, and the young guy who lives with you, actually does not become the adult, does not study to care of itself and especially about the woman, which near to him.
Having taken everything, that is possible, at you, he, most likely, will sometime find to itself following "mum". So the first, that it is necessary to make is to refuse strategy of "mummy" even if for this purpose it is required to go on break. Well and is farther - the deep analysis of own dependences and vital priorities, search of the new employment of interests not connected to sex - and you will see, that the life begins much the richman, and in one fine day you will meet rather worthy the man.
3. Both partners - mature persons, but one are much more senior
In this situation, certainly, to judge it is impossible. When two mature persons conclude the union most likely, between them rather spiritual attitudes harmony and mutual understanding were established. Here the difference in the age of valid does not play any role. And if to not consider pair which marry for the sake of the decision of a housing question or conducting joint business for the others it is possible to be glad sincerely: the opinion of associates really is no important for them, in fact these people actually appreciate each other and enjoy love and happiness.
To what from considered above your case would belong, remember: the choice in any case remains for you, and anybody - neither friends, nor relatives, public opinion has no right to supervise over your own life. Be wise - and then you actually will be rather happy with that whom you have selected
And, apparently, all develops how you expect - and he loves you, both you of him, and are very good to you together.
However surrounding people, wishing to you in eyes of a long and happy life, behind a back for some reason whisper, glancing at your pair.
The reason for this is simple: at you too big difference in the age of.
All six-milliard mankind cannot be adjusted under one comb. Among numerous pairs in which the husband and the wife almost, meet the unions a difference in 15, 20, 30 and even 40 years. Unusual families, certainly, draw attention of the public - all interestingly, " as at them there ".
If your elect it is appreciable is more senior or that is younger than you, for certain, you collided not time with similar curiosity. And, probably, asked to itself a question: " and whether correctly I have acted having connected the life with this person? ".
Certainly, if you are absolutely sure in the feelings and in the partner and you the another's opinion on this question does not worry is is healthy. In fact nobody has rights to supervise our private life, to specify, that is correct, and that - is not present. But if all in attitudes like well, and you doubts then not bad to understand: whether it is necessary to make the final decision? We shall consider some the widespread cases:
1. She is a young girl till 25 years, to him - from 40 and more
It most frequently a meeting variant. Solid, taken place the man easily wins heart of young lady. She feels like near to him comfortably - in fact the partner has got not only material stability and a social status, but also rich life experience. Frequently it is the mature and wise person who actually is ready to give you all best.
Between you - full spiritual and sexual harmony (in fact you have not come yet in пору "peak" of the needs, and he has already was above age when satisfaction in intimate sphere is defined by quantity of sexual certificates). It is fine, if all really occurs so. But and if something you all the same guards - probably, a situation in itself the following dangers:
First, the girl to whom the partner gives a "ready" financial position and the social status risks to set aside on the second plan own personal and professional development. Such happens, if she searches for protection and a support (frequently it happens with girls who have grown without the father - they try to compensate lack of fatherly attention, meeting men is much more senior) in the partner. If you accept such situation is your choice. But it is not necessary " to be dissolved in the partner " and to overlook about itself.
It is wonderful, if ithe supports all your undertakings - means, he actually sincerely loves you and cares of your development. If he gives you money for clothes, service of the cosmetician, the masseur, etc., but it is not pleasant to him, that you will spend(will see off) time for work or in institute, moreover in addition go on rates or meet the friends - think three times, whether it is necessary to continue attitudes. In fact many wives of rich people suffer that they live, similarly to birdies in a gold cell thoughtlessly having sold once freedom and independence.
Second, be cautious, if he gives too big attention to sex and "has already got" you, and except for this theme of you a little that connects. Most likely, this the man has deep sexual problems and uses you for self-affirmation. Such attitudes have no anything the general with love - and once come to an end, not leaving any positive memoirs.
If at him was (or is) the wife of his age, that, probably, he is afraid of changes occuring to her - for example, she starts to become is similar to his mother whom he so was afraid in the childhood. In that case he simply searches in you for a refuge from the internal complexes. This crisis is usually shown at men about 42th years and, as a rule, lasts year two then the person is switched to a social life, work, self-improvement - or starts to grow old and turn to the gloomy loser on the sly. So hardly these attitudes become stable and harmonious.
2. She is a mature woman, he - still practically the young man
It too can be met quite often. Such attitudes have the importance for both: the tireless partner is necessary for the woman who has come during mature sexuality. In turn, she can learn the young man to art of love and vital wisdom, and also support him financially, to help to borrow the corresponding status in a society.
It is wonderful, if such pair lives in trust the consent, not paying attention to leisure conversations and slanting sights. However sometimes in the similar unions there are reefs:
The woman having the young partner, can feel constant fear of that he sooner or later he will leave her. Unfortunately, experience shows, that it occurs enough frequently, in fact the man, becoming psychologically mature, can want to create family, to have children - and each woman of 35-45 years is far from being will dare to give birth the child. Therefore he chooses younger wife.
If with you there was a similar situation, that main thing - to manage really to releasethe partner from itself, to go through this pain and to leave her. In any case, it is important for you to remember: you are not become worse than that your younger the man has thrown you. You are still fine, ready to give people love and happiness, firmly stand on legs and are developed as the person.
It happens and so, that the young man frankly mounts upon a neck to the skilled and solvent woman, using, for example, her dependence on sex. If you have got in such situation, first of all realize, that actually occurs. In fact, accepting strategy of " careful and providing mum ", you and itself, and the young guy who lives with you, actually does not become the adult, does not study to care of itself and especially about the woman, which near to him.
Having taken everything, that is possible, at you, he, most likely, will sometime find to itself following "mum". So the first, that it is necessary to make is to refuse strategy of "mummy" even if for this purpose it is required to go on break. Well and is farther - the deep analysis of own dependences and vital priorities, search of the new employment of interests not connected to sex - and you will see, that the life begins much the richman, and in one fine day you will meet rather worthy the man.
3. Both partners - mature persons, but one are much more senior
In this situation, certainly, to judge it is impossible. When two mature persons conclude the union most likely, between them rather spiritual attitudes harmony and mutual understanding were established. Here the difference in the age of valid does not play any role. And if to not consider pair which marry for the sake of the decision of a housing question or conducting joint business for the others it is possible to be glad sincerely: the opinion of associates really is no important for them, in fact these people actually appreciate each other and enjoy love and happiness.
To what from considered above your case would belong, remember: the choice in any case remains for you, and anybody - neither friends, nor relatives, public opinion has no right to supervise over your own life. Be wise - and then you actually will be rather happy with that whom you have selected
# posted by Marina @ 5:25 AM 
